Not a Perfect Mom

I’m not a perfect mom but im Mason’s mama. Most days my son is my alarm clock, slapping me “wake-up” for milk or juice for his sippy cup. Ok, I lied, it’s still a bottle. But, his morning slaps are accurate, so I figured why bother with the alarm clock. Furthermore, while I’m explaining myself to the internet; when I creep out the bed before him to get my day going he just wakes up earlier, so most of the time I’m over it.

We have our potty training going but no my son hasn’t fully succumbed to using the toilet. He whines and cries but if I rush him to the bathroom before his morning stretch we (meaning him) pee straight into the potty or his little urinal (yup, he loves that thing). Mase is a really good breakfast, morning eater so I can give myself a pat on the back for that. Getting dressed can be hectic from needing 5 minutes to myself, which isn’t happening. I never knew I would have someone that loves me so much that wants to sit on my lap while I pee. I do a decent job at organizing activities, I actually truly enjoy creating opportunities and experiences for us, and mamas as a whole. But i clearly need to practice more me time/self-care. Im not always the best at our backpack for our days out and about. Somedays there are like 20 pampers in that thing, and I have been a mama that needed to borrow a pamper , the shock and shame! Don’t tell my husband…

At times lunch can be complicated, I’m usually starving for it cause I skipped breakfast, so not perfect of me, while chasing my son to put his pants on. Mase one out of three wants to fight about it; should he or shouldn’t he eat his lunch today. But around 2pm he eats and I’ve had a handful of something. For me, I don’t have any perfect secrets to make him eat all his meals on time, I just patiently wait for him to be hungry, report me to his pediatrician if you like…

I don’t mind taking him for a second activity or place for the day, we are alike in this way. Once again I’m not a perfect mom, but I do what works for us. Mase rarely naps and if so the 20 minutes in the car suffices, anymore and we staring at each other at midnight like “you want to build with blocks again?” Even though my face says “naw negro, I do not.” I’ve started making charts and mini lesson plans for Mase, but I just started when he turned 2, so not perfect of me.

I convinced myself Mase is a pre-schooler and that helped me manage our time throughout the day, and gave me the guidance for more educational activities. But that doesn’t mean I’m teaching all day everyday in a structured manner, I’m not perfect nor do I think thats what’s best for us.

I do enjoy going to the market with my son, he usually picks out his produce and fruit for the week himself; correct names and all. It always gives good conversation between  us as well. We are still working on language development so I try to use our surroundings to engage as much as I can even though it can be tiresome and I got help and advice from others; see so not perfect mom of me. Plus, I feed him fruit as I shop, I wipe it off as much as I can but it’s not perfectly clean. Atop of that, putting the groceries in my mom car however reminds me of how non-perfect mom I am. Literally Mase had a bowl (took his breakfast on the go..) in my backseat for a week this week. I shouldn’t even admit that publically. 

For the most part, I keep our home main floor well kept. Now the tv room,  Mase’s room and the bench of clothing/laundry in Mase’s parent’s room is so full you can no longer see it on a daily, and is very not perfect of me. Being exhausted from being positive, playing with a toddler, and making dinner, while working from home is not the perfect life. But its a good one.  I’m not the best at any of the above, but I do give my all (giving your “all” varies on a daily) and ask God in my prayers to make my output to my family better each day. Back to my non-perfection is bath time which isn’t always perfect, Mase has jumped from the tub to the shower back to the tub; washing his hair is even worse; no cute story here! My son and I have argued cause we are strong willed individuals which can also include stubbornness as well. Around 7:30pm I usually look for saving but ain’t none so I find my third wind and some productive play instead of the tv with my child as much as I can. I use tablet time for the most part while I cook and or stuff my own mouth with food to keep him still.  But I have also used it to play with Mase in the evening cause I just can‘t chase him around the dining room once more.

My outfits are always on chill, cant think the last time I wore jeans and a cute top during daytime while momm (y) ing it. I don’t work out besides the jungle gym or moonbounces with my son, this mom body could use some toning. I don’t mind running or weight training but my life just not set-up like that for routine workouts. However the Spring does revigorates me to run in the AM or such or at least daydream of being that woman who does.  I use hats cause I have like 4 minutes to comb my hair before we leave out the door or before Mase takes off his socks and shoes or something. I don’t know.

Some nights I’m done and too frustrated from working hard to deal with others; that means people, including my own husband… that’s a hard one to say, but when I feel done I like to be alone. I never have done a perfect job with Mase however hopefully one day I can say to myself well done though. Some days Mase eats a very well balanced diet. However there are days like he ate the fries and applesause, cool; w not beating myself up about it. I’m trying to get myself back on a regular mani-pedi schedule but Im still trying, mom hands I got…. this blog isn’t perfect but I’ve stalled on it for a week, and simultaneously not coincidental this piece is about not being perfect so im publishing it like this. Not perfect.

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